3/15/10 review - Military Brainwashing

Max/Caroline – Max visits Salem and talks to Melanie. DAYS has finally worn me down. After suffering months with the likes of Chad and Will, Max is looking mighty darned fine in comparison. The brainwashing techniques of this show could be used by the military! Okay, so Frankie, who is really Carly’s brother, was taking care of Max, who was not really Frankie’s brother. Max’s real father was Trent Robbins, but Melanie, who Max thought was his sister, is really Carly and Daniel’s daughter. Got it…whatever. Is it just me or does Frankie really have some explaining to do?

Hope/Melanie – Hope questions Melanie about the shooting. I say let’s call Melanie the “Salem Scene Killer”. She serially manages to kill every scene with the vet characters, and not in a good way. So far, Maggie, Carly and Hope have all been victims. Who’s next?

Carly/Bo – Carly talks Bo out of not becoming Nicole’s cellmate. I acknowledge that CarBo has their chemistry, but it’s Bo’s attitude that is so unattractive. He tells Carly that he’s outgrown Hope; and meanwhile, Hope is talking with Melanie at the hospital in an attempt to save Carly’s ass. Bo has always felt this need to compare the women he’s with. He did this same kind of crap the first time around in 1991 when he told God that he loved Carly more than Hope. It’s just insulting when he’s comparing his women like they’re slabs of meat in a grocery store. Let’s just say, I think I have my “Loser of the Week” picked out! Meanwhile, Carly’s back in Ultra Annoying Martyr Mode. I broke out in applause when Hope called her on it. Man, we really needed Hope around in 1991 to set things straight when Saint Carly was doing this act all the time. Maybe Hope will be “Winner of the Week”.

Anna – Someone cure Anna of this horrible case of “dumb blonde”-itis! First, she may have left Sydney’s picture at the scene of the crime; and secondly, she thinks that anyone on that airplane is actually going to answer any of her questions about the take-off time!  Come to think of it, does anyone know where those stupid boots are now?

Nicole – Nicole gets well acquainted the fine art of scrubbing with a toothbrush. She remembers Anna has owns The Voice. I’m sorry, but even in someone else’s hallucination, Anna wouldn’t be caught dead in an ugly uniform like that!

EJ/Sami/Sydney/Rafe – EJ does another damage control tap dance as Rafe investigates the cottage. The way Sami was freaking out though, you’d think it had been an inner city slum. And will someone please remind Sami that she put her baby sister for sale on the black market? It drives me crazy when she rants over and over about what a monster the kidnapper is. She gets on her moral high horse and ignores her own sins of the past all the time. Must be hereditary…