Tuesday, August 17, 2010

More Soap Opera Digest ass kissing to Corday

Seriously!  Soap Opera Digest grades the shows for this year.  Oddly enough, no show was graded below a B-.  Are soaps that great now to deserve B's?  Are the ratings on fire for soaps and no one told me?

Here's the delusional mess from SOD:

The August 24th issue of Soap Opera Digest has a "Daytime Report Card" feature. Here is the SOD Days report card.

Writing: B-
"Classic Lines" galore and snappy dialogue pepper the day-to-day scripts; unfortunately, the stories don't move as quickly. There's a lot of wheel-spinning going on in Salem between the Nicole/Sami/Rafe/EJ and Chloe/Daniel/Carly/Melanie/Phillip yarns. While they're currently heating up, it's taken long enough to get there. And Hope trying to kill Bo? We have no words.

Diva:  Yeah, the one-liners rock, but the storylines are far too boring, predictable, and take forever to execute.  I'm bored to death with the two major storylines they cite.  Who gives a shit who Chloe's baby daddy is?

Characters: A-
The show brought old faves into focus this year, with Victor and Maggie enjoying unlikely renaissances. Vivian's return certainly upped the wacky factor, which was sorely lacking. Newbie Chad has finally been given a meaty tale. John Martin was inspired casting as Bill, and John Callahan is hilarious as Dr. Baker. And while we love Lindsay Hartley, Arianna was not a well-written character from the get-go (She's a waitress! She's a narc! She was a teen con!) and with her impending exit, the show finally acknowledged it.

Diva:  Arianna was a total waste from day 1.  Still the show is not focusing enough on vets and instead keeps bringing in new characters that no one gives a shit about.  Why is Rafe in every storyline?  Who cares that Chad is Stefano's son?  The fans want the real DiMera son back, Tony, not a lame Tony replacement.

Creativity: C
Yes, we all loved the Sami/EJ/Nicole baby switch story, but the cow is dry: It's time to stop milking and come up with a new tale for them. And while the upcoming Vivian-is-buried-alive plot has potential to be a hoot, isn't that so 1993? It's time for some fresh takes.

Diva:  No shit.  How about a new writer with fresh ideas?  The only surprise I can think of was the reveal of Anna being the Sydnapper.  None of us knew she was the Sydnapper until the last minute.  We've known EJ has been behind it since December, yet the characters are just now finding out.  Boring!

Production: A
DAYS is working on a minimal budget, yet it proves that you don't need a lot of sets to keep things interesting. Sure, plenty goes down at the Brady Pub, the hospital and the Kiriakis and DiMera manses, but what's happening in them is ultimately what matters. Plus, DAYS boasts one of the best-looking casts in daytime; it's nearly impossible to make anybody look bad.

Diva:  This proves that the writer of this opinion piece has never watched Days of Our Lives.  The sets are atrocious.  The "best looking cast on daytime" looks like shit in the hands of these hair and wardrobe people.  The show looks cheap.  Go rewatch some of Ed Scott's produced eppies and compare. I remember a scene where EJ was in the hospital visiting Stefano before the Olympics lockdown.  There was rain streaming down the window when EJ was looking outside.  I was so impressed at the time on the realism and the attention to detail.  We have none of that now. 

Stellar Points:
DAYS makes great use of its vets and manages to incorporate a large cast into its story. They pull off visitors from the past like no other soap, as evidenced by the wonderful farewell to Frances Reid (ex-Alice).

Diva:  The farewell to Alice was emotional because we all loved her so much.  But the cheap outdoor set with no church service was lame.  It was nice to see some of the vets back, but the whole Kim/Shane reunion was rushed and completely usurped by that moron, Rafe.  They used Shane and Kim to prop Rafe.  GMAFB!

Room For Improvement:
Where is the love? This is a show that hit the height of popularity with its supercouples and action and adventure stories, and sadly, none of that exists today. Picnics at the beach are cute, but are hardly on par with the grand, romantic gestures of yesteryear, which we've been conditioned to expect.

Diva:  Yeah.  Higley doesn't do romance, she does elevator hook ups and sex tapes.  We need Sheri Anderson or a Sheri Anderson wannabe to write for this show.  She knows romance.

Final Grade: B-

I'd give the show a C-.  I'm being generous because I do love some of the cast.  Also, some of the scripts are written very well, it's the overall storylines that are boring.  The production value is just total and utter crap.  The show looks like a bad soft core porn set.

What do you guys think?